I have wrestled with this for months — how to address the despair that many of us feel heading to the ballot box in the next few days. We are angry. We are exhausted. We are furious. We are grieved. We want nothing more than to dismantle this society that continues to work exactly as intended — keeping so many marginalized humans in bondage, operating off of proud imperialism and colonialism, funding a mass genocide, and upholding white supremacy at all costs. 

“It’s not fair that freedom was only for white men,” she responds with disgust. We’ve discussed at length the irony and cruelty of the then-American colonies fighting for freedom from so-called tyranny while simultaneously holding enslaved persons captive and continuing to embezzle Indigenous lands and obliterate their population.

This is not breaking news.

Saying the words, “America is an individualistic society,” is like saying “water is wet.” Yeah, we know. This is not breaking news. American society does not function without its populace completely buying into the belief that individualism is the one right way to function as a human.

Many people will read this and assume I am blaming white people for the mental health crisis in this country. No, not even close. I am blaming white supremacy. A system created to ensure the supremacy of not just white people, but whiteness, and the religion of anti-blackness that shapes every corner of society.

If you had asked me a week ago if I knew what a trad wife was, I would have stared at you with a dumbfounded look on my face. I had never heard that term before. Honestly? I still wish I didn’t know. I would love to travel back in time to about seven days ago when my ignorance of what a trad wife is was strong. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss. But, alas, I now know what a trad wife is. I can thank TikTok for that. Someone mentioned this trad wife movement on another social media app, and in an effort to cure my ignorance, and at the risk of screwing up my algorithm, I took to TikTok to teach me about this odd phenomenon of trad wife-ism.

It’s Women’s History Month — what honest progress can we say we’ve made in the lives of American women, especially American mothers? To answer this question, we must be honest about the direct correlation between white supremacy and womanhood and motherhood in the United States.

Our society’s desperation to keep whiteness and white people in power has not come without a grave cost to everyone who inhabits this society. That means you. And that means me. It is because of white supremacy that we have built a society that refuses more help to its citizens than any other developed nation in this world. It is because of white supremacy that we have withheld the human rights to safety, security, education, health care, public resources, child care, and more. It is white supremacy that wrote the very American narrative that even your most basic human rights must be deserved and earned.

Each of these characteristics can be traced back to the foundations and development of white supremacy to the society and culture we live in today. These traits have emerged from the development of white supremacy. They are the result of it.

America has defined itself as a country based on a race-based hierarchy that, through almost every structure, law, ordinance, and standard set by elite white men, is reinforced by class, education, land ownership, gender, and even beauty. Desperate to maintain the supremacy of whiteness, (specifically male-dominated whiteness), America provided handouts to white men, restricted access to everyone else, and told the lie that the success the white men experienced was solely based on meritocracy.

It is not a coincidence that we are a society of humans walking around in a worthiness-chasing daze. Our society has destroyed our self-worth, convinced us that it’s our fault we don’t feel worthy, and has brainwashed us into normalizing toxic traits and behaviors in order to “earn that worthiness.”