How to Find Out What's Really Robbing You of Your Joy in Motherhood
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When you feel so lost, it’s hard to even know where to begin with making things better. You know how you feel and you know how you want to feel, but the roadmap to get there? Questionable. Very questionable.
So, let’s figure that out right now. Let’s figure out exactly what is the cause of your overwhelm so that you can create your unique roadmap toward conquering it.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution. You are unique. Your family is unique. You and your family have your own unique needs and circumstances. That is why you will never see me hand you a solution.
That was one of my biggest frustrations when I was searching for my own solutions. Everything I found on the internet in various blog posts or courses about managing motherhood was very geared toward a specific mom with a specific schedule and specific privileges.
You may be a single mom with no family around. You may have kids with special needs. You may work a job that has various shifts or even overnight shifts. Your husband may be deployed or travel a lot. Everyone has their own unique dynamic.
So, instead of me handing you a solution, I will work with you to help you create your own solution. And, I will always, first and foremost, point you to Jesus.
Alright, let’s take some action.
The first step is to figure out exactly where your overwhelm or your mental load is coming from. If you are able to, take some time to jot down the answers to the following questions:
What is everything that is on your plate?
Where do you feel the most chaos in your day?
When do you feel like time gets away from you the most? What do you feel like you never have time for? Why?
What happens when you try to create structure or routine for you and your family? What works and what doesn’t?
What are some challenges you are facing with your kids, marriage, or career right now?
Where do you feel like you are losing total control right now?
What thoughts run through your mind most often?
When you take the time to ask yourself very specific questions, you begin to see clearly where the gaps are that are causing your mental load in the first place.
Now, you may be tempted to dive in and begin solving all of your problems at once as you begin gaining some clarity around your biggest gaps that are draining you, but stop right there in your tracks. When you try solving all of your problems at once, you end up more overwhelmed than when you first started, and you throw in the towel before seeing any results.
Right now, the best thing you can do is sit with these answers for a little bit. I even recommend journaling about them to dive deeper and bringing them to the Lord in prayer. Ask God what your next steps should be.
When you’re ready to take action, I recommend starting with the biggest pattern that you see. Where did you notice some inconsistencies across the board? What else did you notice as you were answering these questions?
Once you narrow down your main problem that’s vying for your attention right now, you can begin taking focused action that will bring you the results you are looking for.
Put your focus on the biggest problem or consistency that shows up the most and focus there before you jump to everything else. Chances are, as you focus on your first problem, other areas of concern will begin to solve themselves as a domino effect. (Need some practical examples of this? Tune into the episode - I go into a lot more detail by giving some examples of some possible areas of concern and how I might go about solving them.)
