5 Liberation Affirmations for October

Oct 1

If you’re reading this, I’m eternally grateful to you. It’s been weeks since I have written anything here. The fog that I have been in regarding thoughts, words, and anything remotely involving my brain has been immense. For weeks, I didn’t see a way out of this fog. As the days passed, it only grew denser. Every inhale and exhale felt heavy, exhausting, and nearly impossible to execute.

I couldn’t figure out why I felt so lost. And the fact that I couldn’t figure it out made me feel like such a failure. I tried everything — journaling, therapy, extra workouts, planning and brainstorming sessions, taking breaks — nothing would lift this fog. What was baffling to me was that it was summertime. Summertime is when you’re supposed to feel the seasonal depression from the colder months escape from your soul the moment the days grow longer. Yet, the longer the days grew, the more intense my depression became. The sun was shining. I was playing more tennis, which is my happy place. Yet, I was depressed. With a capital D.

Here’s the thing — depression isn’t magically cured with a journal prompt, a workout sesh, or even a therapy sesh. Yes, those things help with our overall mental health. Sticking to these rituals and habits helped me keep my depression at a manageable level. I continued to experience moments of joy, I had the energy to parent my children, and I spent time digging deeper into where in the world this fog was coming from. These are all serious wins when you’re in a bout of depression, but when you’re seeking a cure and it’s not working, those wins feel like failures. I didn’t want to manage my depression. I wanted out of my depression. Yet, the fog wouldn’t budge.

The truth? I lost touch with who I am. I know that kind of sounds cliché, but that’s what happened. It had been happening slowly over the past year. The summer just happened to kick things into overdrive, especially with the loss of the literal glimmer of autonomy I had over my life when my daughters’ homeschool academy ended. I counted on those 4 hours every Friday to give me a semblance of autonomy — a moment to connect with my brain and do something that made me feel human besides tame meltdowns, chauffeur, and teaching phonics. Though I had already been slipping into this fog for a few months, my weekly coffee shop visit prolonged that full-blown depression. Once those were over, the fog peaked. The depression depressed. And that was that.

I’ll write another article explaining more about the depths of this depressive episode I experienced, but not right now. Right now, we’re focusing on liberation and stepping into a new season, whatever that may look like for you. Part of coming back to myself has been reminding myself of what I do and why I do it. I write, speak, and teach about liberation. This is my life’s work. Every time I have tried to go back to the drawing board to figure out what I’m “supposed to be doing,” I come back to liberation. This is what I wrote my book about, for heaven’s sake! I didn’t write an entire book about proclaiming freedom for all of humanity to just buckle and cave under pressure, depression, and fear. So, while I’m not fully recovered from this summer fog, I am boldly stepping back into what I do. Starting right here with this article.

It’s officially October.

We are fully into the fall season. The air is getting crisper. The days are shorter. The coffee; cozier. The Gilmore Girls la-la’s are all over your timeline and your sweaters are excited to adorn your body once again. And, while the colder weather can signal the start of seasonal depression for some, I am hopeful that you will find a way to cling to the promise this new season brings. Fall is a time for re-setting. It’s a time to get back into rhythms that keep you grounded. It’s a time to re-fresh, re-organize, and re-orient yourself. It’s a time to prepare for a season of rest that winter brings. Summer brings with it a lot of energy-exerting activity and distractions. Though fun, I think that when autumn finally arrives, our bodies are craving the start of our coming inward. I know I was.

So, let’s lean into this season. Here are 5 affirmations for your liberation for October. I hope they bring you freedom, and courage, and re-ignite whatever flame within you that was beginning to dim.